Biggest Ranch In The World
Australian’s?
A Texan goes into an outback pub in Australia and says ‘Y’ know this country might be big, but back home I’ve got a horse that takes a whole week to ride round my ranch’ The bartender replies, ‘I know what Y mean, mate. I had a horse like that once – I had to shoot the lazy bast**d.
What’s the definition of Australian aristocracy? A man who can trace is ancestry back to his father.
An Aussie sees a gorgeous woman at a party and asks if she’d like to have sex. ‘Certainly not.’ replies the woman. ‘Fair enough,’ says the Aussie. ‘But would you mind lying down while I have some.’
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘Up Over.’
Why is an Australian lover like a wombat? He eats, roots, shoots and leaves.
An Englishman is applying for emigration to Australia. ‘Do you have a criminal record? asks the emigration official. ‘No,’ says the Englishman, ‘Do I need one?’
What’s the Cuban National Anthem? Row, Row, Row your Boat
I just put that one in for fun.
Sheila to Bruce: I’ve got bad news…I’m pregnant and leaving if you don’t marry me.
Bruce: Strewth, Sheila you’re not only good in bed but a good sport!
Big Bud 747. World’s biggest tractor
