Roscoe’s Ranch

Night Time is the Right Time in Phoenix

Phoenix has such a large variety of night clubs and places to go at night that it is surprising that it doesn’t have a better reputation for a hearty party night life. One could go club hopping all night long and still not touch them all. Another problem is, “Are you including Tempe and Scottsdale?” These two bergs have their own hot spots too. Tempe is the home of a major university and Scottsdale is home to wealthy retired Republicans.

Since the big event is in Phoenix, let’s begin our attention on the Camelback city. It’s called that because of a mountain ridge with the same name on the city’s horizon. Where do you start? How about The Merc Bar, a quiet, dark and cool respite from the desert sun. It looks upscale but it is a friendly place. No sign outside? Make sure you’re at 2526 East Camelback Road. If you can’t find it dial 602-508-9449 on your cell.

If baseball is one of your passions, then look for The Pink Pony. It is a bar in the Old Town section of Phoenix. The name may put you off, but this is a place where major league baseball players who are in spring training go to cool off. The walls are heavy with photos of players and baseball paraphernalia. Like most spots in Phoenix, dress is casual.

Cheuvront is a wine bar that offers a full bar and half-price happy hour rates on all appetizers. This would be a nice place to talk business over a glass of Argentine Malbec or a French Pinot Noir. The appetizer menu is as diversified as the drinks. 1326 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. (602) 307-0022.

For another great happy hour try Fez, but don’t call it that. They call it EZ Hour, and its seven days a week with 2-for-1 well drinks, drafts and bottled beer. They also have EZ Hour daily from 11 pm to whenever Elvis has left the building. 3815 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. (602) 287-8700.

Other hot spots to consider: Big Bang Bar, 501 S. Mill Ave., Tempe. (480) 557-9690. Martini Ranch, 7295 East Stetson Drive, Scottsdale. (480) 970-0500. Sugar Daddy’s, 3102 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale. (480) 970-6556.

Do you have time for some skin? Well check out Babe’s Cabaret. This gentlemen’s club is owned by Jenna Jameson, a name well known in the adult industry. Babe’s has a hot red interior and the ladies add to the heat with sizzling dances on the runway or your lap. 2011 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale. Phone (480) 947-9909. It is a handy spot for lunch too. Is that a box lunch?

If you’d like less silicone in your dancer, check out Pin-Up Girl Lounge, 4516 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix. (602) 973-1280. The girls are friendly and loving. The bar has everything you could ask for in a cooling libation. The stage has two, count ‘em, two poles for the dancer’s use.

Have a shot at Bourbon Street Circus, 2901 E. Thomas Road, Phoenix, (602) 956-9650. This club offers a variety of ladies of every type in possession of the accoutrements we love. They have a lunch and a happy hour too from 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

Phoenix has the Gay and Lesbo seen covered as well. B.S. West is one of the best. Happy hour is Monday – Friday from 2 p.m. – 8 p.m. with 2-for-1 drinks. B.S. West has two floors of dancing with hot men. This is the place to dress up as everyone there seems to do. 7125 E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale. (480) 945-9028. Other gay bars to consider: Roscoes on 7th, Amsterdam, Homme, Charlie’s, Wild Card, Incognito Lounge, and Karamba Night Club.

One thing to look for while in Phoenix is the hometown beer called Chili Beer. When the Mexicans put a slice of lime on their beer to keep the flies away, the yuppies thought it was to add flavor. Chili Beer don’t need no stinkin’ limes. They put in a chile pepper. Chili Beer. Ask for it.

After you leave the valley, whenever anyone asks, you can say Phoenix is hot and so is the beer. At night the temps go down and people come out. Keep an eye out for Klixxx Webmaster Magazine next time you’re in Phoenix for CCBill’s Phoenix Forum.

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Roscoe Ranch – Tribute to “Smokey” the Cat